lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
