Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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