just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
