i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
