Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
