His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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