I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
