i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
