Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
