Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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