She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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