I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
