carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
