i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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