dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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