You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
