Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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