took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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