i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there was a trapeze. enough said
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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