i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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