I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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