Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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