Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
