If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
