We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
