Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
