what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
wow bdsm is so cute
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