oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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