Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
