i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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