Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
