Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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