So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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