Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
