The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
