HIV tests are more positive than that guy
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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