Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
