Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I intend to get homeless drunk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
