508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
