I wanna passion pit in your ass
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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