the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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