He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I am morally bankrupt
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
