Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
