it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
