I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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