i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
