I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
