Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
