Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
