we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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