So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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