and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
