please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
