actually, I'm a sock model
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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