I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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